Holy Schnit! Starbuck is getting married and buying a house!

[Starbuck3733T]

WHAT? yes, im getting married and buying a house!!!! I proposed August 8th, she asked for clarification "are you asking me to marry you" and said yes when i said yes and showed her the ring (my grandma's ring, a sapphire flanked by 4 square cut diamonds). Amazing thing was the ring fit perfectly, and she's got small hands. Probably an omen :-D. This was also the first time i actually rendered her speechless. Kyra (her daughter, who is 4 today (bday)) kept asking 'can you marry matt now'?!?! for the rest of the evening till she went to bed.

Kyra has been planning the wedding (yes, the 4 year old is saying stuff and actually getting it, scary!). She's getting a crown b/c she thinks she's a princess (and she is ours) and her mom, the woman i love and am marrying, is getting a tiara...alledgedly.

Believe it or not, we already have a date... oct23 of this year. And a place: all-faith chapel and Pennsylvania State University main campus (university park). PSU.edu is my employer and her alma matter, she bleeds PSU colors, blue and white. And she and kyra both have dresses already - she made up her mind in 20 minutes at Kauffman's wedding world! We have a place for the reception too, which is just above the new house we made an offer on today (yes, kyra's birthday)... but i'll get to that later. She's meeting with the caterer week after next. We're finishing the invites this weekend. We're meeting with the officiant tommmorow... a good lotta stuff nailed down, most of the big things, but there is still a lot to go.

Rewind to day before yesterday:

So i've never owned or even looked at buying a house before yesterday. We did our preapproval @ the bank, $133K. We'll have about $20K to put down after we well her house and even up on her debts. So that maxed us out at $153K

Forward one day: (yesterday):

We looked at a house together after she and kyra looked at it decided they both loved it. Well, i dashed their hopes because i really didn't like it too much. But it was cheap at $129K (for the area), and it was big. The yard was nice and it had lots of landscaping for Jen to work on... She likes doing that stuff, good thing because I freakin hate it!

Well, she wasn't too happy with me... (insert moved post after this....)

[Starbuck3733T]

Repost....

right now she's pretty unhappy with me - she fell inlove with this house when she looked at it this morning, and I wasn't too crazy about it. The 140K bracket around here for housing is pretty piss poor. We can't move out of state college school district because its THE BEST and thats what she and I both want for Kyra (her 4 year old daughter).

I think Im probably in the dog house - didn't kiss her when i left or finish a phone call with i love you, and i was pretty abrupt on the phone around lunch time.

She calls me at work and yak yak yak, and I don't have a polite way of saying "Listen, its my lunch hour, and I can't go get food when I'm talking to you, bye", so I just said, welp im getting some food, talk to you later when she finished talking. I dont think she gets it.

I general i just have a hard time finishing conversations with her - i dont mind long ones in person but over the phone, especially when its one of the 2 nites a week im actually able to 'play' pisses me off. I've got 10 hours a week tops to myself and tbh i'd rather be playing than talking.

I know its just because im not there. if we ate dinner together and i went off to do my thing she'd have no problem with it.

Still I was pretty miffed tonite because it seemed she was taking her disappointment and anger out on me - mad because i didn't like the house either. Not fair. I didn't take it out on her, but i wasn't as nice as i could/should have been. Went over to a friends house (as is the norm on thursday) and used his weight bench, free weights, etc. A few 150LB benchies later the endorphins have calmed me down.

Maybe I can try to like that house? Its hard to imagine what it will look like when youlive in when it still has everyone else's shit inside it. It was very country and had a parquet floor (better than carpet, but ugly.). She liked the kitchen, but it was also quite 70s. Blue toilet, too.

The more i think about it the more I'd like to go back and look at it again... maybe we will.

Thanks for listening to me vent.... Analyze away nexxo! :-D

[Starbuck3733T]

.... and back to last night.

We had a nice long talk about first time buying, having your hopes dashed, and that we'd look at that place again with fresh eyes at the end of today.

Also that she remembers when she first bought a house (she's done this 3 times now) that it was a real bummer of an experience realizing what you can afford. Once again, im glad we talked about this because i didn't realize it at all!

So now we're all resolved from the last nights conflict. im quiet pleased!

So there are very few houses in the affordable range that are big enough for us, and there were a few that the real estate agent didn't want to show her because one was 'nasty on the inside' and another was 'surrounded by college kids'... Trusting others opinions is a big deal for me - I can't/wont do it.

So tonight she takes us out to the one that was 'nasty on the inside'... well it wasn't nasty, it was damn nice. Apparently they just had ait professionally painted. And jen liked it too! OMG! it was $149K. The carpet was berber and still fairly stained, but we asked for a $2000 allowance to cover the floor being replaced, and an offer contingent on radon mitigation if neccessary.

So we went back and made an offer, jen in tears because of a few things like it not being as close to her best friend (and matron of honor in our wedding), and because kyra's bio-father had her this weekend and she couldn't consult with her. I assured her that she's 4, she'll like it b/c we can sell her on it. But i undesrtand where she's coming from - its basically been her and Kyra for 4 years and kyra has always been in on everything). The real estate agent agreed!

The same agent, ellen, had been the agent for jen for her last 3 houses, so she's quite trustworthy which was a load off my mind. i wont go into mumbo jumbo details on how that stuff all worked, but when it came to signing the papers to do the offer, my hand didn't work so well. I let jen sign it, and then i forced my hand to sign, the evil little thing!

And all the while, jen very emotional, but me very calm. I know it was a quick decision, but when my head and heart agree -- the decision to make an offer was a heart decision, gut instinct -- its usually a good thing. Either that or my head/heart shuts up so one can be heard above the other. Those moments of clarity are the best decisions i've made. Somehow I just know what i'm doing is right.

Apparently only jen's mom agreed understood being very emotional without the consultation of her 4 year old daughter. :mellow:

So she's going on vacation this coming week, and the house will be put on the market and hopefully sell while she's gone...

So that's the saga so far.... the follow up will be when Kyra gets home and Ellen takes us out to see the place again so kyra can see it. ^_^

Lets hope kyra likes it, and that the accept our offer.

I'll keep ya'll posted!

[Olly]

Star, Congratlations on the new house and the new family ....^_^

[mrplow]

An epic tale!

PICS of house, and CONGRATULATIONS for the whole marriage part :)

[toby]

gj star

[mnpctech]

Congrats Man!

Its all good :D

[Knipex]

Today I drink a beer in you honour.

Congrats man................

[Kickass]

COOL GOOD LUCK

(Hope this dont happen to me in the near future lol)

[Fibbles]

Wow, congratulations. I'm happy for you.

My friend and his GF bought a house together with marrige plans, now they hate eacho ther but are having issues with who owns the house. I'm sure you wont have this problem, ^_^ cause you know you love her. He wasn't in love wiht her and just wanted to "be a nice guy".

[scopEDog]

Man...i felt like i was reading lord of the rings :) Congrats SB and good luck to you!

[Da_Rude_Baboon]

House buying sounds a lot easier in the US then it does here! Fingers crossed for you m8! B)

[dutchcedar]

Congrats Starbuck!!!<_<

It ain't always wise to tie yourself up financially right after (or before) getting married, but it also ain't wise to throw money down the rent tube... My best to the both (or all three) of you.

[Nexxo]

It ain't always wise to tie yourself up financially right after (or before) getting married, but it also ain't wise to throw money down the rent tube... My best to the both (or all three) of you.

"There's only two things worth investing in: friends and real-estate."

-- The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

[Starbuck3733T]

Thanks guys...

Looking at a house that's in an 'official' flood plain (IE i have to have flood insurance... but its only been the basement 3 times in 11 years) I'm talking to the township public works engineering about this $400K project they have in the works to add two more drain pipes to the plain. if that turns out to be legit, I'm going to lowball them at $120K (they're asking $129K) and see if they counter at $125K (I'd hope)...

Its this house: http://www.statecollegehomesales.com/grand.fpl?LA=toddcostello&ML=122.0421643&tk=70.162.36.63_1093318408

Edit:
PS: I've already told the woman I'll be pulling a 'bladerunner' sometime in the future. maybe not right away. Goliath w\ no fans - now thats an idea!

PPS: Bladerunner = Geothermal cooling, see at www.zfz.com